Who am I ?

A Little More Back Story

Bella POV

Takes place BEFORE chapter 1

I sat at the kitchen table trying to figure out what I was going to do with myself. I graduated from Forks High School, and now Mike, my “boyfriend” wanted me to go somewhere on the East Coast with him. Then, there is Jacob; he used to be my best friend.

That was until we went to a party after the ceremony. Jake and I went to the party together; I let Jake drive my truck, since I get lost so easily.

We pulled up in front of this red painted house, I really did not know where we were. All of a sudden, I saw these tall guys walking toward the pick-up.

“Hey Jake, you brought a snack!”

The tallest one, I’ve seen before; I think his name is Sam. They got to my door and opened it up for me to get out. As I turned to set my feet on the ground, I felt Jake's hands on my back, trying to pull me back to him. I was getting scared; I knew this would not end well for me.

I woke up later that night in the hospital. It felt like my head had been split open Along with that, I had a black eye and bruising on most of my body. I started screaming for my dad. As he came in, I started crying.

“Bells, it’s ok, you are safe now. I bet you are wondering what happened to you? I am very glad you blacked out, sweetheart, that Jacob kid and his little wolf pack followers…Bells, honey, they raped you and beat you up pretty good. I was out seeing my good buddy, Billy, when I heard this yelling. When I walked in and saw what was happening to you, I went a little bit crazy. But, everyone involved is in jail. The doctors here told me you could go home tonight if you want; they have done everything they needed for the rape kit.”

So, now I’m sit here at the table, wondering what I need to do to get my life back together. In less than twenty four hours, I had graduated high school and was gang banged by who I thought was my best friend and his pack of “friends”.

I looked in the mirror and saw that my face is covered with bruises.

I hope that my mother and father don't find out what the real reason why Jacob did this. Don't get me wrong, I never asked for this or set it up as a fantasy or anything like that. Jake he found some things out about me. He found my personal DVD stash in my closet and my diary; it held all of my thoughts, good or bad.

I have always been interested in the BDSM lifestyle and often wondered if I wanted to look more into this life choice. Jacob thought since I liked to watch and read about it, he would be the one to give it to me.

He raped me, straight up; he has no idea about that way of life. I thought that maybe this was my entire fault; I should have never had that stuff. Now, he is going to tell Charlie; I just know it. What will I do?

I was taking a bath, trying to get this dirty feeling to go away, but I wasn’t having any luck. I heard the front door slam shut…that is when the fallout started. I heard Charlie shout,

“Isabella Marie Swan, where are you? I just talked with Jacob. I want to know if what he says is true! He said you wanted this and that you even had this planned in your diary. Is this true, Isabella? ”

Oh shit, I knew my life was over now. He began beating on the bathroom door. I then heard the worst sound ever; I heard Renee, my mother, sobbing. I told them that I would be out in a few minutes; I struggled out the words between giant sobs.

It was as bad as I thought; Dad made me give him my DVDs, and then he screamed at me, calling me a slut, whore, and just about any derogatory name for a woman. I didn’t understand how he could say this to me; I was a Daddy’s girl, through, and through.

Renee was sobbing, saying over and over, that she didn’t raise me this way, and ‘how could this happen?’ Turns out, she had been the one to find my diary. She had read about my feelings about BDSM, my sexuality, and my secret, or so I thought, fantasies.

To top it all off, I had written about my feelings about my parents and how they were never there for me, and how I felt like a slave, since I did all of the chores and cooking.

Charlie’s words cut me to the bone and hurt me; it actually hurt worse than when I was raped.

“You whore! Pack up your things and get the hell out of my house!

You are no longer our daughter! I let them out of jail because of what I learned, so maybe you can go there and get beat some more, since you seem to like it.”

I started crying, ran to my room, and grabbed my clothes, my books, bedding, and all my special things. I turned around a few times to make sure I got everything I needed. As I walked out of my room for the last time, I grabbed my laptop and charger, along with my bank card, and went down the stairs without looking back. I walked out the front door and slammed it shut, crying like a two year old as I backed my truck out of the driveway.

I went to the bank first and depleted my savings; a whole $2698, all from all my summer work from last summer. I drove to Port Angeles, and rented a room for the night; I had a lot of research to do.

I ended up staying about a week there, trying to heal up from being raped, and researching more options. I was headed for Seattle; I had found this pretty decent apartment for rent, so I wired them the rent and deposit. I also found a job! I will be working at a restaurant. It turns out, there is also a strong BDSM community there, so I hope I can get into it, and find my way. Hey, a girl can hope, right?

I pulled into the parking lot at my new apartment, I looked around. It did not look too bad. I finally was on my own. I was still very hurt and had major anxiety issues from being raped and being told that I wanted it by my parents. That was too much; I don't know if I will ever forgive them or want them in my life again.

I started getting ready for work I got a job at SkyCity, which is actually in the Space Needle! I hope I don't get sick; I can’t believe the restaurant moves 360 degrees all the time. However, the pay is good so that will help me out a lot.

After the first night, I knew for sure that I would make it. I got almost $200 in tips, and that was just in a three hour shift! I wonder what I would make in an eight hour shift.

I had been working for about two weeks, when I noticed a couple that came in often was in a D/s relationship. I could tell because his companion was very respectful of him, and always looked down. Not only that, but he would order for her, and even fed her! I could not believe what I was seeing. This was what I wanted; a man to love me and take care of my needs, whatever they are. I would do everything he wanted so I could please him. I watched this couple from afar. Damn, I knew I was right; she just called him ‘Master’. I had read her lips.

I started to look at message boards online. I had to find a club; I needed something, but I just didn't know how to find it and to be safe about it. I had read several blogs online that told of the dangers of some clubs. I finally decided to go to an adult store that carried a lot of BDSM stuff. I would go on payday; I needed to get some outfits like I had seen in the DVDs. I hope they are right and not a bunch of made up crap.

I also wanted a book about how to train to be a submissive.

I made appointments to get my hair done, and get my pussy waxed. Oh, I know that this one is going to hurt. After it was over, I realized I was so right; it hurt like a mother. The esthetician, Kate, said that it would get easier each time.

I can't believe I am going to do this, but I need to know. So, when I get to work, I see that that guy is here again, but with a different lady. She is still acting the same way, so I assume it’s ok to ask. I walked over to the table, even though I was blushing the entire time.

“Sir, do you or your girl need anything from the bar while you are waiting on your meal?” I kept my eyes down the whole time. I knew it was wrong for me to do this, but I just felt compelled to do it. When he answered me, I almost wet myself.

“Miss, would you please look at me? Can you tell me your name?”

“It’s Isabella, Sir.”

“Well, Isabella, I would like a glass of bourbon on the rocks, please, and my girl, as you call her, would like a glass of water.”

“I'm sorry, Sir, I meant no disrespect.”

I left and went to get there drinks. As I came back I sat her water down first, and then his. Before I could move my hand away, he reached out, grabbed it, and told me,

“Isabella, please take this and I hope to see you again some time.”

HE KISSED MY HAND! OH MY GOD!

It was then that I knew I had made the right decision, so I walked away from the table and went into the break room. I sat down, because I could not stop shaking. I looked down at what he put in my hand; there was a hundred dollar bill and a business card. His name was Aro Volturi. I turned it over and it said

“My sub was upset with you, but I was very pleased. Call me soon so we can talk.”

“As I walked out of the break room, I saw them getting ready to leave. He walked by me and winked and his sub, who was about three steps behind him, gave me a dirty look. I’ll say this, if looks could kill, I would be dead.

I’ve been in Seattle almost six months and I am so happy that I am afraid to call Aro. He has not been back while I’m working, and today I had an appointment today to get waxed!

While I was waiting for Kate to come in, I thought about maybe calling him to see what he wants. Kate came in, though, interrupting my thoughts,

“Hi Bella, I hope all is well with you. I have a couple things I would like to ask you before we get started, and I hope I don't offend you. Please know that is not my intention. Are you in the BDSM lifestyle? Because, if you are and do not have a Sir or Ma'am, I would like to invite you somewhere.”

Oh my, did she just ask me that? I can't believe it!

“Kate, I take no offense, really; I'm actually very glad you asked. No, I am not in the lifestyle, but I want to be. I really have no idea how to start.”

“Well then, maybe I can help you. I have been invited to a Ball; it’s a party to introduce new submissives and dominants to the community. My pet is ill and will not be able to go. I wanted to offer you the opportunity to go; it will be black tie formal.”

“Oh wow, Kate, I would love to go but I don't have the money to get a formal gown. Maybe I could find one online. Can you tell me when it is? I have to get the night off from work.”

“Oh, Bella, you silly girl; I will buy your gown. The ball is tonight. I know you will be there; I will call Nordstrom’s and give you permission to buy whatever dress, shoes, and accessories you want, and then I will have my limo pick you up so we can go in together. I hope this is ok!”

“Yes, Kate, that will be wonderful. I hope you know that I have no training at all; is that okay?”

¡°Bella, that is wonderful, and it is perfectly fine that you have no training. Just be respectful and it will all be fine. I will put a collar on you so you will not be bothered and if anyone has interest in you, they will tell me, and I’ll pass on that information to you. I will also do the same for you if you see someone that interests you. So, let me get you finished up so you can get out of here and be ready when the limo calls for you. Here is the address for Nordstrom’s; I will see you tonight, Bella.”

“Thank you, Kate!”

Well, I guess I’m off to Nordstrom’s…I have a Ball to get ready for tonight!

Can I Do This?

As I sit in the middle of this dungeon, I cannot help but wonder; do I really want this? Can I even do this?

Who am I? I am nothing. That’s what my father told me. Even my own mother told me I was nothing but wasted space.

I am just sitting on my knees, the way I saw in DVDs. I know they aren’t real, but at least some of it has to be accurate, right? I don’t know the person I will be meeting tonight; it is all part of the deal we had made.

Can I really submit and give up my will to another? I am very scared; will I be loved, or will I be given to a sadist?

No matter what happens, I signed up for this. I signed a contract for three years, and, yesterday, two million dollars was deposited into my bank account. If my new owner likes me, I can renew my contract. If not, I can sell myself again for another three years.

I hear footsteps outside the door; it’s time.

My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. I had sweat on my forehead; I hope I don't faint.

As the door opens, I hear many footsteps, one headed over to the side where I had seen a few chairs. The other two people that came in stood before me.

I wanted to look up, but I thought better of it.

The voice I heard before spoke first. It said

“Stand, pet, but keep your eyes to the floor.”

As I stood, he continued,

“Well, do you like everything you see, Sir?”

I felt a pair of fingers run down my spine, down over my ass, and to the inside of my thigh and across my moist lips. I couldn't hold back the shudder that ran through me, and I lightly shook when he stopped and slowly dipped his fingers in and out of me.

I heard him shuffle behind me; I thought he was going to walk away, but I suddenly heard,

“Mmmmm...so sweet, Isabella, I can’t wait to fuck you.”